A Mother's Ramblings

Yesterday Top Ender didn't really want to spend anytime with me. Every time I tired to find her to play with her or try to involve her in something I was doing she was busy doing something else that she didn't want me to do too! It got so bad that she even took her lunch upstairs to eat instead of sitting with me! Today however she hasn't left my side. I have been sitting on the PC doing my emails, listening to my podcast and getting ready to make some chicken pies and a couple of Quiches and she keeps coming up to me and hugging me or just passing comment! I love that Top Ender has independence, but that she still comes back to me for the love and reassurance that she needs!

Top Ender is so much fun. This morning I dressed her in dungarees shorts, pink T-shirt, pink socks and her pink Barbie baseball sneakers. She looked so darned so cute that when she came downstairs Daddy had to take a few pictures. After a visit from Granny and Sister and Cousin she decided that perhaps being a ballerina fairy was the look to go for. We had to go out and Daddy unusually said she could keep her outfit on... wings and all. Top Ender went to find the appropriate footwear (pink flip flops) and off we went. Walking from where we parked the car to the shop we were delighted when nearly all of the young children we passed and those of the "older generation" (Eg what I think a Granny should look like, you know with white hair) smiled or passed comment on what a beautiful fairy she was. Daddy and I looked on proudly realising that our baby is growing up (well she is a Top Ender now!) and we are so very lucky. I just hope that Baby Boy doesn't dress in a tutu and wa...

Top Ender is becoming morbid again. I thought we had managed to stop all of this a couple of years ago a few months after my Grandfather had died and I told her that talking about dying all the time made me sad. Last night she and her Daddy drove past a cemetery. "What's that?" she asked "A cemetery" replied Daddy "Where they bury dead people?" "Yes" "Can we go there?" "Why?" "So you can read the names to me!" "There would be a lot, it would take a long time" said Daddy trying to get out of it "That is okay, there will be a bench half way down that you can rest on and then when you are ready you can read the rest to me." As long as she doesn't start wearing all black and start wanting us to call her a goth type name we should be fine!

Top Ender now has her own blog. She wanted to know what I did on the computer, and she wanted a diary so I thought we should combine the two! Top Ender thinks it is great, as I have linked her flickr account to her blog, and so there is a slide show of her pictures at the bottom of her blog! At the moment she is trying to poke me to get me of the computer so that she can go on her log on... Starting to wonder why we taught her to talk!

Top Ender and I are spending a lot of time together at the moment as I am on maternity leave. This has meant that with my nesting and a willing pair of hands we have been able to complete a lot of little jobs around the home. We have baked, scrubbed, sorted, mowed the lawn and done a lot of weeding, cleared out the garage and threw away a lot of rubbish, put most of our new arrivals room together, washed and ironed all the old unisex clothing, sorted the non unisex clothing in to age categories to be passed to my sister or sold on the Internet, gone through Top Enders clothes and underware, gone through Top Enders toys and books and done an awful lot of art and craft projects that have previously sat in the games box waiting for someone to create them! I am so amazed at her skills, her conversation starters and her stamina! She has told me that she is learning good life skills (who taught her that!) and that together we can make out house beautiful!

Top Ender is getting excited about Baby Boy nearly being here. She very kindly suggested we use her old baby things for her baby brother (amazing when subtle comments work!) and has even helped sort through all the old clothes that I kept to pull out all the gender neutral things! I was amazed to see how much she has grown, obviously I remember that she was once a baby but I forgot how small she was! She was more obsessed with the fact that she had more clothes as a baby than she does now until I explained that babies sometimes need changing several times a day!