A Mother's Ramblings

Top Ender was eating a cookie at the bottom of the stairs. She had figured that being the other side of a closed gate would allow her the chance to eat her treat without her brother trying to steal it from her. "Don't drop any crumbs Top Ender!" Said Daddy "I won't, I will eat it all up!" said Top Ender "If you do make crumbs you will have to clean them up, okay?" "Yes Daddy" A few moments later Daddy stuck his head round the corner to check on Top Ender and discovered her picking up the crumbs she had dropped. Not knowing what to do with them she decided that her best course of action would be to hide them... in my open handbag. "Top Ender? Why are you hiding crumbs in Mummy's handbag?" "I wasn't!" "Top Ender?" "I thought that would be the best place to hide them as Mummy never pays!"

"Mum, I'm getting a snack. Do you want one?" called Top Ender from the Kitchen "Ooh yes please Top Ender, what are you having?" I answered from the PC whilst working "A doughnut. Do you want it on a plate?" "Yes that would be nice." "I already got a plate for me. I used my steps. I'll get you a saucer." "Thanks that would be great." "Here is your doughnut! My name is Top Ender and I shall be your waitress this evening!"

Another Auntie and Uncle popped round to say Belated Birthday wishes to both Baby Boy and I. They got married last August and Top Ender was a flower girl. It was at the start of the service that Top Ender showed everyone why she is so funny. "And if you have a mobile phones please turn it off. Now let us be silent" Said the Vicar The resulting silence was pierced by a loud whisper from Top Ender in the centre of the Church "Mum? Dad? Have you turned your phones off? He told you to turn them off okay?" The resulting giggles, convinced Daddy and I to pretend she wasn't ours for the next few minutes!

Daddy took Baby Boy out for a Daddy Son Date the other day. Whilst they were out they went to the shopping centre. As they were walking around Baby Boy took delight in waving to other Toddlers and Babies in prams and caused one similar aged Baby to drop her dummy waving back. As she reached forward to pick it up the Mummy said "Give it to me Baby" "Uh huh, uh huh! And all the Girls say I'm pretty fly for a white guy!" Daddy muttered slightly too loudly so that the Mummy heard Luckily she smiled knowing that both of them had been caught out!

Reason number 1 as to why you shouldn't leave your chocolate milkshake at Toddler height!

We keep a hairbrush downstairs by the television, so that the last thing we can do before leaving the living room (and then the house) is give Top Enders hair a quick brush. Two weeks ago the hairbrush went missing. We looked everywhere for it but it is nowhere to be found. So we put another hairbrush there. Now it's gone missing too. We thought Baby Boy was responsible, and we just couldn't work out what he is doing with them or where he was putting them. It has been driving Daddy and I crazy! Today I found the second hairbrush wedged behind a unit in the living room; "I found a missing hairbrush!" "Where Mummy?" asked Top Ender "Behind this unit, Baby Boy must of pushed it in." "No, I put that one in there by accident, I didn't tell you as I didn't want to get told off" "Oh Top Ender ! You are so silly, I'm just pleased you told me now." I'll apologise to Baby Boy when he wakes up later!

Top Ender was very annoyed with Daddy she started telling him off whilst leading Baby Boy away from the TV. "Daddy! You shouldn't let Baby Boy stand so close to the TV!" Exclaimed Top Ender "Pardon Top Ender?" queried Daddy "I don't want him to be close to the TV as it might hurt his eyes!"

Yesterday we received a telephone call telling us that Granny had collapsed in Asda , and was being taken to the nearest hospital. Being well versed in Granny going to Hospital Top Ender started to get a Toy bag ready whilst I started getting a food bag ready. When we got there Top Ender started colouring in a picture for Granny to make her feel better. It was then that we were told that Granny had been taken to hospital as she had banged her head when she had collapsed and this was why she had been brought in to the hospital. Top Ender then presented Granny with her completed picture - a scene from Jack and Jill, with the statement underneath "And Jack fell down and broke his crown" Who says that children don't do sarcasm ?

I have taken Baby Boys dummy away during the day and for the first few days he wasn't too happy about it. On the second day I overheard him talking about it on the toy phone; "Dada? Bad Mama no dou dou!" (which for those who don't speak Baby Boy is Daddy? Mummy is bad and taken my dummy away!) Seeing me spying him talking on the phone he decided to try his luck "Mama Dada dou dou!" (which for those who don't speak Baby Boy is Mummy Daddy says give me my dummy!)

"Top Ender, I have just put Baby Boy into his cot, so please no talking it is sleep time!" said Daddy "Where have you been though?" whispered Top Ender "I took Baby Boy out in the car to get him to drop off as Mummy is at work." said Daddy "What? You can't leave me on my own! I'm only Five!" said Top Ender "Mummy is downstairs working Top Ender" said Daddy "Oh! Night then." said Top Ender

As repeated to me by Top Ender on Sports day Member of Blue Team: That was hard! Top Ender: Yeah! But I liked it. Member of the Blue Team: I never want to do it again.

I've decided that I should have a bit of a pattern to follow on this blog so every Wednesday I will take part in Wordless Wednesday as seen at blogs such as Bottles Barbies & Boys (say Hello to Johnina when you stop by her blog, she is proper funny unlike me who relies upon my children to provide me with funny stuff) so now I shall shut up as Wednesdays are now meant to be wordless... But I do just need to say how thin is the ice?!

Top Ender and Daddy were in a magazine shop together looking at magazines they were thinking of buying. "You could buy this one Daddy it is about Planes!" said Top Ender "Indoor voice Top Ender!" said Daddy "Or this one about Trains!" said Top Ender "Indoor voice Top Ender!" said Daddy "Or this one about Computers!" said Top Ender "Indoor voice Top Ender, I don't want everyone hearing and thinking I'm a geek!" said Daddy "Oh! Okay... What about this Doctor Who one for Mummy?" said Top Ender "I give up!" said Daddy

Grandad and Nanna came round last week to say Happy Birthday to Baby Boy and to bring his gift round. They haven't seen Baby Boy for a while and I was a little worried that he might pretend to be shy around them, but he was straight in there when he realised there were gifts to be had! I was trying to get him to show his various skills and asked for a kiss; "Give me an Mmwah, Baby Boy" "Bab sa tha laa tha faw!" He said as he leant forward to kiss me I now know that this meant "I'll kiss you, but only on your boobs!" As he leant forward and kissed me on my chest commenting "Mmwah Boobs!"

Many Moons ago when Top Ender was a Toggler (see yesterday!) Daddy and I put her to bed together every night. "Night night Toggler, have sweet dreams" said Daddy "Night night Sweetie Pie!" I said "Sweetie Pie? I want a sweetie pie!" said Top Ender/Toggler "It isn't a real pie. You are my Sweetie pie!" "Oh. Not a pie of sweets?" "No. Close your eyes now, sleep tight" said Daddy Somehow we managed to hold our giggles until we were away from her room!

Top Ender is called Top Ender because she categorised the stages that you go through in life, when she was a Top Ender and insisted on the new title. You see at the Nursery she went to the children were split in to three age appropriate groups and she managed to further qualify what happens as you get older; "You see you start with being a Baby, then a Toggler, then a Top Ender, then a School Girl, then a Teenage, then an Adult, then a Mummy, then a Granny and then your dead."

Today is Baby Boys first birthday. Even though I hate people telling me; "Ooh you can tell your kids have the same parents can't you!" Here is a picture of Baby Boy and Top Ender so you can see what they both looked like at One!

I started a new job recently, I work online from home a few evenings a week. "Mummy are you going to go to work?" "I'm already there Top Ender!" "No your not your at the computer!" "Yes, this is where I work." "Oh, I thought it was where you played The Sims."

"I need something to eat Mummy" "Top Ender you just ate a bowl of pasta, a chocolate bar and a yogurt" "I meant I need something to drink" "Top Ender, you have a drink in your hand" "I don't know what I meant then!"

"Why do you keep asking me to spell words Mum?" asked Top Ender "Because it is my job to make sure you know how to spell" "But I finished my Word Box!" "Yes, but there are a lot of other words to learn" "What like.... grandiloquence?" "Yes Top Ender. Think I might need to learn to spell that one first though."

We have just purchased some new phones, and have told Top Ender that if she behaves she can have our old one in her room. Last night afer she had been in bed for an hour I went to check on her. "Mummy?" whispered the sleepy girl "Yes?" "I saw you put the phone in here; Thank you" "That is okay, I will sort it out tomorrow okay?" "Okay. I will phone you to arrange a time."

"Mama!" "Yes Baby Boy?" "Whoisit Mama!" "That's right Baby Boy, the phone is here" "Mama!" "No Baby Boy it isn't for you." "Hiya Dada" "You want to phone Dada?" "DADA HIYA!" "Okay, lets phone Dada. Hi Honey, someone wants to talk to you. I'll just pass the phone over." "Hullo?" said Dada "DADA! Hiya!" "Hello sweetheart, shouldn't you be in bed?" "Bubba bub lal sa ras daf" "Oh I see" "Ta ta Dada!" "Bye bye love you" "MWAH!" "Mwah to you too"

"DADA!...DADA!...DADA!" Baby Boy shouted at 6:30 this morning "I'll go!" I muttered to sleeping Daddy "DADA!...DADA!...DADA!" "Morning Baby Boy, realise the time do you?" "MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!" "Happy to see me Baby Boy?" "Hooray Mama!"

"I've got a great idea Mummy!" "Yeah?" "Every week when Dad is at work we should eat pasta on one night and take out on the other!" "That could work out expensive Top Ender " "I don't mean every week, maybe every other week" "Yeah?" "Maybe once every three weeks?" "Yeah?" "Once a month?" "Yeah?" "Once every so often?" "Yeah, that sounds about right Top Ender "

"Mummy?" "Top Ender? "When you buy me school clothes for next year, buy them one size bigger than I need." "Why Top Ender?" "Because then I will be able to get out of them really easy when it is time for PE!"

For some reason I have another nickname for Top Ender of Fred. I normally use this when we are out and about as a sort of safety measure. I know that if anybody went up to Top Ender and said Come with me Fred that she would run in the opposite direction! "Mum? Why do you call me Fred?" "It is just a nickname, and a sort of safety device. No one can steal you away if they don't know your real name." "But why Fred?" "I have no idea!" "I want to be called Ginger." "Ginger? What made you choose Ginger?" I queried knowing that in my mind Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were intricately linked. "No reason, I just like it."

Yesterday we had a small party to celebrate mine and my Mothers birthdays. Auntie was in a particularly naughty mood and gave Baby Boy a chocolate covered biscuit. She left him in the dinning room on a pale cream carpet. I was a little more sensible and moved him to the laminated flooring a few meters away, but still let Auntie clean the flooring!

Yesterday we went to an Airshow. As we came off the main road to join the queue into the airfield we began to see some of the aircraft arriving for the show later that day. We all sat in the car watching the planes in the holding pattern waiting to land before Top Ender spoke; "I guess there must be an Airshow nearby." "Top Ender, where are we going today?" Asked Daddy "Erm...An Airshow! I forgot!"

There was another laugh out loud moment last week when I was in Top Enders Class talking to them about Baby Boy; "Are there any questions?" said Teacher One A few hands were raised, arms stretched waving about trying to be picked "Yes, sandy haired girl" "Ummm" "Yes?" "Ummm" "Do you need some more time to think of a question?" "Yes" "Okay class, try to remember to think of a question before raising your hand, anyone else have a question?" All hands remained firmly in laps.

Yesterday Top Ender, Baby Boy and I went to Granny's to wish her a Happy Birthday. "You didn't get me a card with 50 on did you Top Ender? Everyone has been giving me those and I'm not really that old!" Said Granny "Hmm" said Top Ender "How old do you think I look?" said Granny "50" said Top Ender "Remind me not to talk to you again Top Ender" said Granny

The day before yesterday during the Question time the following happened "Please raise your hand if you have a sensible question" said Teacher One A group of children raised their hands Top Ender being the fastest. "Yes, Top Ender?" said Teacher One "When are the Babies birthdays? I know my brothers birthday, but when are the others?" "That is a sensible question! When is your brothers birthday?" "Just after Mummy's!" "That's right Top Ender, Baby Boys Birthday is two weeks after my Birthday on the 15th May." The other two Mum answered when their babies birthdays were and the children raised their hands again "Yes, Little Blonde girl?" "My rabbits birthday is October 15th!" said Little Blonde Girl "Not really a sensible question, or indeed a question at all is it?" said Teacher One