Where is my Passion?

What a day to be talking about Passion eh? Valentines Day, a day to celebrate the love and affection between Friends/Family Members/Lovers/Partners/Enter Own Description Here. I do like Valentines day, not because it is a day that my husband tells me that he loves me, (he does that everyday and doesn't need to do anything special to show me), not because Top Ender wrote me a special note on the blackboard to tell me I was her Valentine, not because of any of the promotions that the shops do (although it is nice to see Chocolates on offer!) but because it is a day that I can look at my friends and family and realise how lucky I am to have them in my life. That is where the trouble started this year though. Looking at my friends and family I realised that I am the only one that isn't full of passion.

Today I looked around at my friends and family and saw them getting stuck into their passion. My Sister has decided that she wants to be a Midwife. She is learning sign language, she has trained to help women breastfeed, she is taking steps to start the midwifery course this September. Daddy is enjoying his job more than ever, he is in his element coming up with ideas bouncing them around with others and working to build better and better products. Then there are my friends; They are writing books, starting new Careers, or building new lives. They are all moving forward to a goal that they have for themselves. They are revelling in a passion I envy, a passion I wish I had.

It's so easy for me to sit here and think about the dreams I once had and realise that although I haven't left it too late to turn my hand to something (well as long as it is teenage pop sensation, bit too old for that one) I haven't a clue as to what my passion is. When I was younger I was never quite sure what I wanted to be when I grew up (yes ha ha very funny I heard you saying I still wasn't a grown up) despite thinking that I might like to be a teacher. For years that was what I worked towards, (being a teacher) as I thought I would make a good teacher. It was only years later that I realised that I would be a spectacularly bad teacher that I had to think about doing something else... and that is where I got stuck. I would of quite liked to have taking my acting and singing further, but there is no way I would ever be able to support myself and my family doing either. I would like to write, but whilst blog posts are fine there is no way I could do anything more challenging. I would like to be a comedian, but I'm really not that funny.

I know that you who are reading this may say that my passion is having fun with my family or living life to the fullest and your right. I love spending time with my family, I love creating meals for them and trying to keep them clothed and clean and fed. I wouldn't swap them for the world, but I can't help the feeling that I am missing out on my one great passion. I guess until my passion makes itself apparent I will just have to try everything once and enjoy the ride!