Being Normal
Big Boy wants to be normal.
I know this, because he told me. He even explained to me what normal is. According to him, normal is going to your friends house without your Mum also going. Just like when his friends come to his house, or his sisters friends come to our house or just like when his sister goes to her friends houses.
And I cried.
Right now it just isn't possible, I mean sure when he was popping in and out of our neighbours house and playing with the boys that lived there it was fine, because in an emergency I was ten seconds away, but his friends from School and Beavers live a few miles away and in an emergency I'm a car ride away.
That's just too far for me to know he's safe.
BB is unable to take care of his own blood testing and administering of insulin at the moment. He's tried, goodness knows how much he has tried. He just hasn't the strength to prick his own finger and get the right amount of blood on to the little testing strip. Heck, when I try to do my own blood sugar tests, I get in a pickle. I hesitate to prick my finger knowing it's going to hurt (even if just for a second), I don't squeeze enough blood out and so I have to do it again or I squeeze too much and end up covering the testing strip, the monitor and myself in blood.
Luckily I don't pass out anymore at the sight of blood.
If there is one thing the struggle with School over the last year has taught me it's that people see this as serious (which of course it is) and worry about the consequences. Too much insulin and BB is seriously ill and could die. Too little insulin and BB is seriously ill and could die. I don't think it's fair to put that responsibility on to a parent of BB's friends (And yet Yes, I do believe that the School should have that responsibility!).
But today I bit the bullet and explained to the parent of BB's best friend (who moved back hooray!) that BB wanted to stay at their house on his own.
Without me.
And you know what? BB's best friends Mum understood perfectly and together we worked out a plan for BB to have the best of both worlds. Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that it works.
I know this, because he told me. He even explained to me what normal is. According to him, normal is going to your friends house without your Mum also going. Just like when his friends come to his house, or his sisters friends come to our house or just like when his sister goes to her friends houses.
And I cried.
Right now it just isn't possible, I mean sure when he was popping in and out of our neighbours house and playing with the boys that lived there it was fine, because in an emergency I was ten seconds away, but his friends from School and Beavers live a few miles away and in an emergency I'm a car ride away.
That's just too far for me to know he's safe.
BB is unable to take care of his own blood testing and administering of insulin at the moment. He's tried, goodness knows how much he has tried. He just hasn't the strength to prick his own finger and get the right amount of blood on to the little testing strip. Heck, when I try to do my own blood sugar tests, I get in a pickle. I hesitate to prick my finger knowing it's going to hurt (even if just for a second), I don't squeeze enough blood out and so I have to do it again or I squeeze too much and end up covering the testing strip, the monitor and myself in blood.
Luckily I don't pass out anymore at the sight of blood.
If there is one thing the struggle with School over the last year has taught me it's that people see this as serious (which of course it is) and worry about the consequences. Too much insulin and BB is seriously ill and could die. Too little insulin and BB is seriously ill and could die. I don't think it's fair to put that responsibility on to a parent of BB's friends (And yet Yes, I do believe that the School should have that responsibility!).
But today I bit the bullet and explained to the parent of BB's best friend (who moved back hooray!) that BB wanted to stay at their house on his own.
Without me.
And you know what? BB's best friends Mum understood perfectly and together we worked out a plan for BB to have the best of both worlds. Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that it works.