Charity Cold Callers

I don't know if this happens all over the country, I assume it does, but around here it seems every weeknight there is a knock at the front door and standing there looking expectant is a Charity Cold Caller.

You know who I mean right?

A young person who is paid to knock door to door to get people to sign up to give a monthly donation via direct debit to the Charity they are working for. Actually, that's not true I assume they aren't paid directly by the charity, but a company paying minimum wage or maybe even no wages at all and they are paid on commission of the people who sign up. I don't know.

The point is, we get them a lot and I try hard to be nice to them, but we have our chosen charities and I'm not able to support all of the ones who knock on my front door and the scripts they have work at making you feel guilty about not supporting them, so I kinda hate them.

Last Friday, I was waiting for a delivery, so when I heard the door knock and the doorbell go at the same time, I figured it was an impatient delivery driver and bounced down the stairs to answer the door. Instead of my delivery driver, I was greeted by two Charity Cold Callers, they didn't even bother to say Hello and instead launched straight into their spiel trying to make me think they are my friend, by asking personal questions and revealing things they know about my neighbours with about how my neighbour has two cute ones and have I seen them?

Well, first thing jokes on you Mr and Mr Charity Cold Caller because I have no clue who the neighbour next door is and so using his name to make me feel part of this group isn't going to work. In fact, the only reason I know he has two dogs is due to me having seen him yesterday morning as I was going to work.

The main cold caller then asked if I had anything better than the two cuties next door. A terrible thought entered my head. A terrible thought that I of course absolutely acted upon.

I said "Yes, I do!", did a twirl and said "ME!"

The Charity Cold Callers looked at each other and then back at me, until the main cold caller raised his hand for a fist bump, declaring that I had confidence and deserved a fist bump for that. It was hilarious, and I loved that I was able to get a fist bump for it as well as not feel so bad when I had to turn the cold callers away. Maybe I'll do more terrible thoughts in the future!