19 Years and I'm Sorry, Not Sorry

Today is the 19th anniversary of the day Flyfour and I made our best decision ever, to make our relationship official on paper as well as in our hearts.

So, I just want to say to the love of my life...

I'm sorry, not sorry.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for snoring when you are trying to sleep or for suddenly wanting to chat just as you are dozing off and making us hide under the covers and chat and giggle when we should be going to sleep.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for the earworms and the giggles and the odd behaviours and quirks that you have grown to love, even when you pretend you disapprove of my latest favourite way to annoy you.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for rubbing your shoulders as I walk past you working on the computer as I go to the kitchen and for grabbing your bum when I think nobody is looking.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for buying you your favourite sweets and drinks and for making you fat because I'm a feeder and because I know I don't like dark chocolate so if I buy that for you, only you will eat it.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for loving your cooking, meaning you cook almost every weekend and for letting you clean the kitchen floor and do the ironing because those are my least favourite chores.

I'm sorry for my annoying piano playing, but I'm determined to master at least a couple of hymns and I'm sorry for singing along to your favourite pieces of music and for when I murder them because I either don't know the words or fully know the tune!

I'm sorry, not sorry, for only liking some Bond films, and some of The Pet Shop Boys music and for never having watched Trainspotting, but to be fair you won't watch Kingsman with me and that has Colin Firth in it.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for when we fight, or when I get mad at you because you've annoyed me and I'm sorry for having taught the children how to give you the evil eye like I sometimes do or for when you get mad at me and pull that serious face that makes me laugh.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for loving you, or being best friends with you or even for fancying the pants off you.

I'm sorry, not sorry, that I get to wake up to you almost every morning, or that I get to say goodnight to you every evening.

I'm sorry, not sorry, that I hid that annoying slogan t-shirt and then pretended it must have fallen off the hanger and down the back of the shoe boxes, so that by the time you did find it again it didn't really fit so you had to get rid of it...

I'm sorry, not sorry, that we have a terrible habit of eating snacks in bed, even if I do prefer liquorice and know full well you can't eat it so have to eat a packet all by myself. Whilst we're on the subject, I'm not sorry that I made you eat Guaccamole or Hummous or different dishes from the Chinese Takeaway or Squid or Haddock or even Fish Pie because now you like those things, well you tolerate Fish Pie as long as it isn't very often that we have it, and you never would have known that you liked them if I hadn't originally sort of forced you a little.

I'm sorry, not sorry, that you're smart and kind and clever, or that you're the one person I want to share my stories with.

I'm sorry, not sorry, that we go for walks, and adventures and that we send each other stupid pictures via Whatsapp almost every day.

I'm sorry, not sorry, that even 19 years of marriage later that we still find out new things about one another and that we can always make each other laugh.

I'm sorry, not sorry, that I said Yes, when you asked me to marry you or that we committed our lives to each other in front of our family and friends.

I'm sorry, not sorry, for one little bit for any of the life we have lived together, even the rubbish bits because they are what have made us the people we are today and for that I'm really quite thankful.