A Mother's Ramblings

It was my Dad's birthday in July, or at least it would have been if he was alive. I knew it was coming up, as I have done every year since he died, just without consciously thinking about it. I guess having had the date celebrated for so many years that somehow it is built into my psyche. This year the day sort of snuck up on me. I'd been thinking about my Dad a lot in the week leading up to his birthday without realising why and then when I woke up on the Saturday my first thought was that it would be my Dad's birthday. It was the first year that it really hurt. It was the first year that I wanted to do something to celebrate his life. The Milton Keynes International Festival was on, and Flyfour knew what I needed to do.

Every so often I start to forget things. I forget that I enjoy being around young people. I forget that I enjoy helping others. I forget that I enjoy reading at an alarming speed (roughly 619 words a minute if I'm in the mood). I forget that I love working. I forget that I love to cook. I forget that I love to write. I forget that I like making other people happy. I forget, well I guess I forget that I'm me. I remember that I enjoy being around young people. I remember that I enjoy helping others. I remember that I enjoy reading at an alarming speed (roughly 619 words a minute if I'm in the mood). I remember that I love working. I remember that I love to cook. I remember that I love to write. I remember that I like making other people happy. I remember that I am me.

Just before the world went to pot, the family and I went to an event at Bletchley Park that the Milton Keynes Islamic Arts, Heritage and Culture had put on, and as it was only a few minutes away from us, and we figured it would be fun. It was. When we saw there was a similar event happening again, I wanted to go and view again which is why after we'd locked up for the night Flyfour and I got dressed again and went to Central Milton Keynes Train Station to see a laser light show, that those watching could control!

I've not had many words of late, which you could probably work out from the lack of blog posts, podcasts Facebook updates and even tweets. Most of my time has been consumed with work and volunteering but I've been spending a lot of time reflecting and thinking about what impact I'm having on the world and how to ensure it is a positive one. As a child, I was convinced that I was going to work in a school.

I don't like to not be busy. I know that I tell you that I'm lazy, and I am, but I do need to be doing something most of the time.  Working, Volunteering, my Church calling, Reading, Knitting, Volunteering with the Girl Guides, Coursework, Blogging, Vlogging, Podcasting, Cooking, Cleaning, Gardening, Letter Writing... the list goes on and is pretty endless. There are of course moments, where I'm sitting on the sofa or at the kitchen table doing nothing. Moments where I could have been cleaning the bathroom, unloading the dishwasher, running a load of laundry, preparing a nutritious meal for my family. I googled it back in April.

I saw him in Asda and immediately I knew that I knew him. This wasn't like the time I saw John Higgins in M&S and for a minute stared at him trying to work out how I knew him, whilst he stared back trying to work out if I was a crazed stalker, before we both sort of grinned at each other (I'm assuming he did, we were both wearing masks) and continued looking at the bakery together. No, I knew this man. He wasn't someone I'd just seen on the telly, he was someone I'd spoken to before.

I have been putting meal plans on my phone each week, it's been easier for me to reach into my phone and pull out what I'm supposed to be cooking than going to a blog post every week! However, I have also realised that without the weekly prompting of writing a blog post about what my family and I are eating, I haven't been letting my thoughts out in blog format either... So I'm back! Yay!